The PSP Go is a Hoax... I Hope 10:13 AM

The PSP Go has been rumored for months and all but confirmed in the past weeks. Over the weekend a slew of “official” press shots, including a 2009 Qore video “leaked” onto the internet and tipped the hand of what would’ve been one of Sony’s biggest E3 unveilings. While my use of quotation marks around “leaked” can be easily explained by a general consensus that this information was leaked by Sony in an attempt to stir more E3 buzz, my use of quotation marks around “official” deserves clarification.

The PSP Go information leaked is a hoax, a prank, a PR stunt to throw us all off the trail so that Sony can surprise us on Tuesday with something truly impressive… or at least I hope it is. I’m not going to argue against the hardware specs that leaked alongside the images. In that regard Sony is moving in the right direction. Ditching the UMD for 16GB of flash storage will finally alleviate the system’s battery life woes and further encourage a progressive digital distribution model. Even the smaller screen is a valid decision for the sake of portability. What isn’t valid is the lazy, recycled design of the PSP Go. Stuck at the bottom of a console war, Sony needs to do more than be solid this year: they need to wow us. Revealing the Franken-love child of a Mylo and a PSP isn’t the way to do it.

I understand the concept of universal hardware in a company, reusing parts and designs to save on manufacturing costs. It’s why when you sit in a Honda Civic you see a lot of the same components you’d find in a Honda Accord. It’s smart, cost effective and if you have a good brand why not use what works? Unfortunately upon the Mylo’s release it was met with a collective “meh” of three star reviews and if you’d profess to have seen one outside of a Sony Style store, I’d assume your claim highly dubious at best. Sony taking design cues for one of its flagship devices from a mediocre internet device that was never praised for its aesthetics, nor much of anything else, is a poor choice.

There are times where I have moments of compassion for the new design, admitting that despite its flaws it must’ve been the result of months and months of devoted research and development; a labor of love. Then I remember that when news broke that there’d be a new PSP by fall, 1Up created a mockup as soon as they posted the story. What took, at most, an hour in Photoshop to create looked strikingly similar to what has been presented to us as the “official” PSP Go. I can attribute this to keen intuition on the part of 1Up but it also feels like lazy design on Sony’s part, a deliberate choice to choose the easy route rather than put some serious thought and time into design. I’d like to think this isn’t the case, but then again the DualShock has remained relatively unchanged for 12 years now.

I know that my hope of this all being a big PR stunt, a trick to string us along so Sony can really surprise everyone at tomorrow’s press conference is just that: a hope. The PSP Go presented to us in the weekend’s leak is more than likely the PSP Go we’ll see launched in the near future. Design quibbles aside; it’s a positive evolution for a solid portable that’s trying to grow in the colossal shadow of the Nintendo DS and DSi. But in a time when Sony needs to prove itself more than ever it’s frustrating to see them fall short of extraordinary, especially when a model for amazing has all but fallen in their lap.

E3 Prediction: New Kojima Game is Snake 2:20 PM

Last week Kojima Productions updated their teaser site with a countdown clock and brief flashes of what’s either a 5 or an S. Unfortunately, the usual Metal Gear Solid font makes it impossible to tell the difference. Since then internet speculation has run wild.

Some are theorizing that the heavy presence of lightning in the teaser points to a Raiden focused Metal Gear Solid, given that Raiden means "lightning" in Japanese. Others believe that this will be a re-release of MGS4 for the Xbox 360. Many are following the principle of Occam’s Razor, assuming that it’s just an announcement of Metal Gear Solid 5. While these are all reasonable assumptions, I feel that we’re all ignoring what this most certainly is: Kojima Productions presents Snake.

In an attempt to abate criticism that his games have become unnecessarily intricate and pretentious, Kojima is simplifying the Metal Gear Solid formula with his newest project. That’s right, the beloved cell phone classic Snake is back and better than ever with improvements that could only come from Kojima himself:

· Snake combines classic game play with the harsh landscape and metadrama of a war that never changes.

· A guaranteed 25 hours of content and an industry shattering 23 hours of cut scenes!

· Help Solid Snake eat as many Calorie Mates as possible but beware! If Snake ever confronts his ever-growing personal neurosis he’ll launch into a lengthy introspective dialog and you’ll lose your progress!

· Use the innovative PLAYSTATION®3 SIXAXIS™ controller to take Snake to a whole new level!

· Experience cinematic storytelling never before seen in gaming!

· Feel the full potential of the PLAYSTATION®3 Cell processor, making Snake an experience that can’t exist anywhere else!

We'll all see just how right I am at E3 in two weeks!

Update: Is Microsoft Revealing an xPhone? 12:42 PM

Probably not. Not at E3 anyway. This morning's rumors of a June announcement for a Zune Phone turned out to be completely bunk, crushing my theory that Microsoft may announce it during their E3 press conference touting heavy 360 integration. Just as quickly as those rumors were dispelled Mary Jo Foley at ZDNet posted what may be the hardware specs for the Zune Phone. Most notable of those specs is the mention of the Nvidia AP15/16, also known as their Tegra mobile platform.

Demos have shown the Tegra to be a low power graphics and video powerhouse, handling 3D gaming and HD video with ease. So while we might not see an Xbox-centric Zune Phone come E3 (I'm still crossing my fingers) I wouldn't rule out an HD video streaming, XBLA playing handset coming in our near future.

Is Microsoft Revealing an xPhone? 11:48 AM

Early this morning a tweet from the Microsoft Office 2010 team dropped some curious information:

@Gilly2468 @Chimerica @clubdirthill @serenecloud New product launch, that's all I'm allowed to say. Hold off from buying an iPhone/Pre. :)

Roughly 11 hours prior the team dropped this first tease:

June 2009 will be an important month for Zune lovers.

The combination of these two tweets points to an obvious conclusion: Microsoft has a Zune Phone up its sleeves. There’s been no secret of this since information first leaked on Project Pink. What’s really interesting here is the date given: June 2009. The same month that E3 is taking place.

This could be mere coincidence, but I feel like this is hinting at something much bigger. With a Zune Phone announcement dropping in such close proximity to E3, could we be looking at a phone that’s heavily tied into the Xbox 360 for media streaming and games? Is this one of Microsoft’s big E3 reveals? I can’t say for sure, but the MS press conference just got more interesting.

Final Fantasy XIII Demo Goes Live... 7:08 AM

... and I jizz. In. My pants. Late last night a justin.tv user streamed the Final Fantasy XIII demo and thankfully it was captured and reposted on Youtube for later enjoyment. You can catch the demo split into five parts here, here, and here. Also here and here.

Tuesday Obsession 1:20 PM

If you've never heard of Doomtree, do yourself a favor and go visit doomtree.net right now.

originally I wasn't going to post this, I passed it on to Roo and he said "cool" and that was that. But I've spent the last hour listening to this on loop and that seems like a pretty good reason to share!
The guy singing is P.O.S., a member of doomtree as well as an artist on Rhymesayers Records. Watch and enjoy as he records this live! (also note the awesome synth-guitar solo)

OnLive: Getting My Head Out of the Cloud(s) Computing 10:37 AM

This year’s GDC saw the unveiling of a potentially industry shattering new service: OnLive. Using proprietary technology that’s been in stealth development for years, OnLive offered gamers a unified platform and unprecedented access to content. How? Rather than the game being processed by the machine you use at home, whether it is a computer or console, games get processed at OnLive servers and are then streamed back to your display with an unnoticeable amount of lag. This means that your low spec Dell (or even your Macbook!) can play Crysis just as well as a dedicated gaming rig.

I, along with the rest of the gaming industry, immediately went boners about the potential that OnLive could offer. Co-op sessions of Gears of War 2 were dominated by OnLive speculation rather than tactical chatter. The concept of a unified console made fan boys increasingly uncomfortable. The Phantom suddenly became relevant in conversation again. After the din of dialog calmed and my initial excitement abated, I read an excellent article on Eurogamer and an unfortunate and honest reality set in: OnLive cannot work.

It’s an ambitious platform and I undoubtedly think that gaming hardware will move in its direction in the future, but there lies the exact problem. OnLive is five to ten years too early. Unless OnLive has created truly next generation technology, which if they have it needs to be implemented in media dispensation beyond gaming, there is a myriad of technological bottlenecks that are going to make proper game play impossible. The aforementioned Eurogamer article (go read it already) goes into great depth and insight in explaining why, only confirming many of the worries and questions I had. With the service set to launch this year I can only hope OnLive has something up their sleeves with which to prove me wrong. Please prove me wrong.

Prototype 6:16 AM

I remember hearing about Prototype a few months back, and seeing some screen shots for it. And it didn't look bad, but it didn't grab me.

Well all that has changed. This new "top 10 reasons to play" Video has sprung up over the net recently and its beginning to look really promising. The video looks like the wonderful demon-spawn of Crackdown and The Incredible Hulk. both of which were amazing sandbox games for allowing you to do everything you didn't think possible. Much like in "Hulk" where you can ride flattened buses as surf boards, in Prototype, you can ride people as Skateboards.

Friday Obsession 2:00 PM

Somewhere around the eleventh viewing/listen of this, I figured it's probably worth sharing with the rest of you. Shinichi Osawa has yet to let my ears down so if you enjoy this Anna Tsuchiya remix check out more of Shinichi's totally awesome stuff. If you've played PSP puzzler Lumines you might recognize this one.

Duke Nukem forNEVER! haha, get it? 12:31 PM

Ok, bad jokes aside, apparently Duke Nukem is trying to be hip and cool and with-it since it's release is ever approaching. You can see how edgy the Duke is with this "viral" advertising that was floating around GDC this year.

But along with all that, the orginal badass is also apparently coming out with a PSP and DS release this September. This could be a very cool news! ... But it's not. Check out the screen shots here. If you haven't had the joy of playing a 3rd person 3D game on the DS, you've dodged a bullet. The system is not built to hand that kind of detail and precision controlling. Not to say it's not possible, but the only one I can think of off the top of my head is FF: crystal Chronicles. Not to mention there are some great first person shooters out on the DS and 3dRealms is missing a chance to be one of them.

Or even beter, just release duke nukem 3D on the DS... or the original Apogee Duke Nukem side scrollers.

Tartakovsky Returns to Cartoon Network with Giant Robots 8:49 AM

Genndy Tartakovsky, the genius behind The Powerpuff Girls and Samurai Jack, is returning to Cartoon Network with his take on the giant robot genre with a new show: Sym-Bionic Titan.

"The show, one of several announced Wednesday as part of Cartoon Network's dramatically expanded development slate, will focus on three extraterrestrials from the war-torn planet Galaluna who crash-land, only to be swept up in high school and the fate of the Earth as we know it."

Tartakovsky’s Samurai Jack is one of the best animated series to grace American televisions and The Powerpuff Girls was everyone’s guilty pleasure. After watching his franchise reviving Star Wars: Clone Wars inspire the CGI crap-fest Clone Wars series currently on Cartoon Network it’ll be nice to see him back at the helm on a fresh project. Hopefully Cartoon Network won’t run it into the ground.

Is it just me or has Tartakovsky been watching Gurren Lagann?

Tartakovsky's Sym-Bionic Titan Boosts Cartoon Network's Sci-Fi Quotient [Wired]

seriously? 7:37 AM

Seriously! Our first "real content" post. Oh, Cobra Commander, how the shiny have fallen...


Just give yourself a second to take that all in.

This is so dumb. He looks like the Ringleader at a Vampire LARP fetish club. Or maybe some of the Industrial kids I knew in high school. The problem is, on a 17 year old goth kid in the club, its an OK look... For a Military Terrorist Leader, not so much. Check out that syringe full of ninja turtle ooze as well.

And once you get past that, pay close attention to the toy itself. My favorite part is the clear mask. how is that anywhere near close to the chrome one in the image? Ss it a special feature? please tell me his head lights up. The other major inconsistency are those GIANT tubes coming out of his chest. Now, its been a long time since I've played with toys (about 3 hours), but one of the things I've always hated are tubes afixed to the figure's head. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make him look left or right? When he's running from my marvel "World War Hulk" figure, how will he look behind him to see if he's lost him?


Images from http://www.hisstank.com go there to check out the rest of the figure line as well.

poopbutts. 2:01 PM

hi Roo. oh shit. we gots a blog.